Wow. Its been years since i have blogged. Well since 'mummy' suggested me to start a dairy, which better way than blogging right? Thanks for the brilliant idea.
Been through many ups and downs, many significant changes for the past couple of years. From my dad passing away, to staying with my best friend to being in a relationship, and ending, and being in another, and ending again. Lol. It never stops. Staying here in vietnam made me learn many new things, tasted new food and learned different cultures. All i can say is that things are not exactly smooth sailing.
But despite the difficulties, i refused to give up. I know somehow, one day, I will make it. Things will get better eventually. Bad luck don't last forever right? Well at least that is what i'd like to think. Optimism never hurts anyone. Nonetheless, i cant wait to move back to singapore. I miss the people there; my friends...... and nothing else. Just my friends. Haha. Oh and of course the city itself. Cleaner environment, familiar structures, language, etc.
Been in and out of a few relationships in just one short year. I am not proud of that, but definitely from now it is time to lay low for awhile. I have no idea why the past couple of relationships has been a disaster. I am not being a prick here and be the one blaming the other party for any mishaps. If i am the douche, i will openly admit it, but honestly, the past few girls i've met, one word: DISASTER.
Let me sort it out for those who doesn't understand.
After grace and i ended our 2 years relationship, i started sorting out the different girls i've encountered. And what a vast array of varieties i have met. From the average, normal, plain janes, to the wild, sexy and young sugar babes. Some can be shockingly gorgeous. And i have to say, it almost amazes me how similar women are. Sure they might not say the same things or have the same hobbies, but in terms of mentality, they are honestly quite similar. Whenever i jumped from one fling to another, what i was hoping for was some freshness, something new, some excitement. But along the way i realized it is just rinse and repeat. The steps are the same, the rules dont change, and the words or actions that you find yourself taking are all the same. And of course, the endings are the same as well. Just that sometimes its you and sometimes its the other party.
Well, broke up with Gladys at the start of the year and i thought to myself, i am gonna go back out to the wild and start hunting again. I was a little lost and had no confidence at first, after being out of the game for so long. But eventually it all came back. 1 girl, 2 girls, then 3, 4, 5, etc etc etc. I have lost count. But the most recent one was a shocker. She was a married young girl. I wouldn't exactly address her as woman cos she's only 22. So she is in fact, still a girl. She works in a pub as well, like duhhh whats new. But i only got to speak with her when i went back singapore for a couple of days. Eventually got her number but we didn't contact at all.
So one fine day while i was back in vietnam, we started talking. And skip the details, she asked me if she could go find me in vietnam. Yeah i was shocked, because in my mind girls don't usually take the initiative. So of course i said yes, if she was serious about it. I don't deny i had my doubts at first i mean come on, would any of you girls fly overseas ALONE to look for a guy you barely knew? But eventually she did fly over and to be honest, it was one of the best 7 days i've had in vietnam. We were like couples, i told my friends she is my girlfriend. And we did everything together. So somehow during those days, i fell for her, even when i knew she was married and has a son back at home.
To me, young girls with kids these days are sadly common. Shotgun marriage is no longer a surprise to most people. And i've dated women with children so of course i didn't mind dating another one. HOWEVER, little did i realize that it would come back and bite me in the ass.
Firstly, her husband is in jail, and somehow i found out that i wasn't the only guy she is dating. That's when my mind started to get all messed up. Because i see her as my girlfriend, i selfishly thought that she would see it the same way. I tried to control my jealously at first, giving in and letting go of my ego to cater to her emotional needs. And after i found out that she was still sleeping with that guy while i wasn't around, that is when reality struck me. To make matters worse, i found out on my birthday, when i was in the hotel with her.
She apologized for what she did and she promised me she won't do it again etc etc, you know all the emotional speeches when you get caught doing something wrong. So yeah, i gave her a second chance. Or rather, i tried to. After i got back, for the first couple of days it was fine. She reported to me wherever she went, whatever she was doing. But there was one big problem, ME.
Let's be honest guys, if you wanted to lie to someone, you would make your lie be as believable as possible. You would take photos or send locations of where you're at but still be lying. And you would do anything to cover up. The best liars are so convincing that they can even convince themselves they are telling the truth. Why do i know that? Because i am one of them. And being in the game for so long, i have seen every tricks and traits in the book. I have even used most of them. This is not exactly something good because it just causes you to become paranoid when others are doing it.
So i do not trust her anymore. Because she could be doing what i did, lying never stops. And to be honest, she treated me like shit. So i couldn't take it any longer and a couple of days ago, i exploded. I scolded her and she didn't reply till now so everything is over. I wont say that i regretted what i've said, because i was really upset at how she was treating me. Whats more is that i am certain she has no lack of attention from guys. So i think she's pretty much over it since she hasn't sent any messages or calls to me. That is another lesson learnt.
And so life moves on, mummy said she's gonna introduce me to some nice girls when i get back so i hope she meant what she said. But for the moment i told her i am just gonna lay low for now. Relationships are too tiring, not physically, but the mental stress it can put on someone is extraordinary. Especially when it is a long distance relationship. I have never believed in that so this recent one just proves my point. Right now i am just concentrating on hitting the gym and working out. Exercise sometimes can take away the mental stress. Its day number 2 of laying low and hopefully i can keep it in my pants for the next couple of months, as promise to my 'mummy'.
First post and it is a long one. I will definitely update as much as i can since i have nothing to do here.
P.S : Mummy, you don't forget to intro me your friends when i get back. HAHAHA! :))
